You might work in the medical field if...
1. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.
2. Your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.
3. You find humor in other people's stupidity.
4. You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.
5. Your idea of comforting a child is placing him in a papoose restraint.
6. You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a diagnosis.
7. You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
8. You believe unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet around here".
9. You have ever referred to a patient's death as a transfer to the Eternal Care Unit.
10. When out in public, you compliment a stranger on their great veins.
11. You hate working the night shift on a full moon.
12. You have ever had to leave a patients room before you began laughing uncontrollably.
13. You think caffeine should be available in an IV form.
14. You have ever restrained somebody and it was not a sexual experience.
15. Your most commonly uttered phrase after midnight is: " What changed tonight at 2 am that makes this an emergency after six months"?
16. You believe that " too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis.
17. You believe the waiting room should be supplied with a Valium salt lick.
18. You have your weekends marked and planned for a year.
19. You have been exposed to so many x-rays that you don't have to worry about birth control.
20. You encourage an obnoxious patient to sight out AMA (Against Medical Advice) so that you don't have to deal with them.
21. You have ever bet on blood alcohol tests.