I can't say I have never used FDGB in a written report...

To: All EMS Personnel From: Chief of Operations
Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following:

1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots."

Nor are rescuers to use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper."

Similarly, descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."

4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."

5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not trans-occipital implants."

7) The homeless are not "urban outdoors men," nor is endotracheal intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."

8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there).

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Comment by Krista Jensen on March 28, 2009 at 6:35pm: Most of our population suffers from TMB (Too many birthdays). Then there is the effects of their accidents: SNAFU= Situation Normal All F**ed Up, TARFU= Things Are Really F***ed up, and my favorite FUBAR= F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition.

Comment by Vernon Tracy on March 25, 2009 at 11:56pm: NUTS- Nurse Unable To Sign ... for all the nurses too busy to sign for a PT

Comment by BVFD320 on March 22, 2009 at 8:41pm: LOL our firefighter who does the NFIRS is gonna hate me cuz now I wanna use these on our run reports. Hahahha

Comment by Larry Miller on March 12, 2009 at 11:06pm: our community is full of SOP- sick old people

Comment by Dan Tingen on March 12, 2009 at 9:13pm: This is all too cute. However, I always get the "LOP" that "FDGB" and all they want is a trip to the emergency department for further treatment and evaluation from someone much higher in cert or level of care than I can give, however, a minute from the hospital, decide to start dry-heaving, and I have to put them in recovery position, which means, I have to hold the spine board to one side, and then they start posturing, biots respirations, and their eyes are fixed and dilated, OH S--T!! Its a bleed... Dont you just love those calls?

Comment by MedicResQ1 on March 5, 2009 at 1:07am: DWO-- for Driving While Old, they usually brake right in front of you.
DWS--For Driving While Stupid, these are by far the worst usually on the cell phone, putting on make up, shaving, dressing and thus causing the accident.
LOP--Found in most nursing homes--Little Old People.
NA--The nursing home person that really has no clue why the LOP on their shift is feeling "not well." stands for Never Asked.
WDL--Usually stands for Within Defined Limits, but actually means We Didn't Look, which explains the large clot of blood on the back of the head after the 4 am wreck that you never found, but the ED Nurse did.
PALS--Partner Always Leaves Something and last time it was the monitor on the dryer. Not really used in PCR's, but in the incident report to the Boss. This happens to me and I usually make the report to the Boss.
COPD--Continuously Obnoxious Please Die-- Think homeless (wino) who wants a free meal some warmth and you're the taxi. These people really stink too.

Comment by Frankie V on February 19, 2009 at 2:54pm: too funny

Comment by Collin on February 8, 2009 at 12:41pm: Lol I just started writing trip sheets for school last Thursday. I'll make sure I don't use the terms but I will pass these to fellow classmates for S's and G's.