1. People die
2. You can not always prevent number one
3. Blue is bad
4. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, Any variation of this is bad.
5. If you drop the baby, pick it up!
6. Remember when dealing with patients, families and supervisors; if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.
7. All bleeding stops....Eventually!!
8. Generally, its a BAD thing to use the term HOLY SHIT in refrence to the patients condition!!
9. Anyone on the scene drunker then the patient, is the REAl problem.
10. All patients have a full stomach
11. A patients wieght is directly proportional to the probablitly that the elevator does not work.
12.If you respond to a car accident after midnight and do not find someone drunk, keep looking, you are missing a patient.
13. The dead seldom get better, on the other hand, they never get worse
14. Patients do not read the text books.
15. An unconsciouse patient is a co-operative patient.
16. Most of your patients will be healthier then you are.
17.If, during your transport, your driver yells HOLY SHIT dont look out the front window... or the backk
18. If its stupid but it works, its not stupidd
19. Approximately 60% of people who get puched in the face deserve it!!!
20. Training is learning therules: experience is learning the exceptions.
21. Dispatchers will never miss their lunch breaks.. they can also ensure you get yours
22.Patients who fall or get injured outside will always move inside to the top floor bedroom before calling 911 because they can no longer walk.
23.To figure out the true amount of drinks a drunk has had, take the number they say and multiply it by 2 and add 3.
24. In apartments your patient will always be at the last room at the end of the hall on the left.
25.Common sense...is NOT common.
26. Think of your shift as a game. Survivor, the 12 hour version.
27. There are only 3 kinds of patients; 1) Ill, 2) Injured 3) Ignorant...3 usually leads to 1 or 2
28. Standard responses from nursing home staff that:it's not my patient, I just got here, I was on vacation, they are new here, It's not my floor, I think so, I am only here 1 day a week, I didn'y ask for the fire dept., I don't see it on their chart.