OK, I am a firefighter and we get dispatched to a supposed rollover car accident. So we drive to the reported scene and there is nothing at all there. We call dispatch for additional information about the locations. Apparently Onstar called the location in. So they ping the location of the car a second time. The car is actually 2 miles away and coming straight in our direction. So we wait a couple minutes to see what shows up. About 5 min later a minivan with its roof pretty much caved in and no headlights flies past us turns out this cars driver was intoxicated and was later arrested.
ok so i was working for a transport company and we are doing a transferr from one VA to another. and it is a nice drive with the turnpike involved. so we are on the turnpike and it is dead stop traffic so bad that people are out walking around there cars. so i am keeping my pt calm and a truck driver comes up next to us and says that we might wanna shut off our truck. so i get out and tell my partner to watch the pt. well what i see makes me laugh and almost cry. there is a huge pile of tranny fluid and oil under our truck. and than the truck just putters and shuts off. we with help manage to get the truck off the side of the road and well sit there. we got a hold of dispatch and they say it will take a while to get another truck to our location. well my pt is getting hungary so i give him my lunch . which works well for a while and than he starts to get bored. so what does he do jumps outta the truck and runs down the damn highway. i just starred and started to run after him. so i look like an idiot running down the road and people are like laughing and pointing at me. so penndot is up the road and i guess someone had told them about us and they stopped him before i got up there. so i am so outta breath and wanna beat this guy but all i could do was laugh and so did penndot. finally another truck came and a tow truck showed up and we finished the transport. but i can say that i have never had to run after a pt since than and i hope i never have to again.
This one was years ago but I was doing a ride along that was supposed to last three hours(ended up lasting about 12 as we kept getting calls and never came back to station). Anyway, we were in the ER and I was watching my medic buddy do the PCR when some loud noises start coming from the room where the police had just escourted a guy into. Well, out comes this guy, about 6'3", muscular, long hair, long beard, didnt look like a guy I would want to meet in a fully lit ally. So he goes running down the hallway past rooms screaming, so we takle him. Whats funny about that? He was buck freakin' naked. He then proceded to inform me that I am an alien and that I need to refrain from abducting him. Turns out the guy decided to have a PCP/Meth cocktail and go skinnydipping in the fridged pacifc ocean at 11pm and therefore had hypothermia as well. I still laugh when I think about it.
So I think it is only fair I share a few good stories too.
I was on call for the dayshift (BLS), probably around lunch time, when we got dispatched to a car fire. It was right along the major highway and we staged the rig behind one of the firetrucks (because we are sure as hell NOT fireproof). When the carfire was extinguished, the man who owned the car approached us and a member of our crew aproaced him and asked, "Did you call a tow truck yet?" Tha man stared at him for a minute than asked, seriously might I add, "I can't drive it home?" Just as he finishes this sentence, the engine falls out the bottom of the car. I couldn't help it, I was crying with laughter. The seats resembled burnt marshmellows and were removed by the local Vol. Fire, the roof was melted and gone, and the tires were melted to the road. I could not believe this guy even suggested driving home. Not the best story, but thats all I can think of for now. Ill post again when I remember the details of some others.
Years ago, my partner and I responded to a 1 car MVA on a 4 lane hwy close to town. We arrived, and found an elderly man, in a late model lincoln, talking on his cell phone. The car had evidently crossed the median, and rolled over 1 time. The hwy patrol was just arriving, and we were trying to get the man to unlock the door so we could check him. The trooper finally told the man to unlock the door so we could check him, and he continued to refuse. 2 more Hwy patrol vehicles arrived to assist. As we sat there, the 70 year old man finally exited the car, profoundly intoxicated, and was insulting the trooper about his age. We attempted to examine him when he advised us that he knew his rights, and did not want to be touched, Period! We were fine with that, but as we were wrapping up, a 4 wheel drive vehicle crossed the median, and sped directly toward us, cutting accross traffic, and coming to a stop behind the last patrol vehicle. The man staggered toward the Lincoln, advising everyone that "I am his attorney, you can't speak to him!" The second trooper said, He's mine, and proceeded to take charge of the drunken man. As if this wasn't classic enough, yet another vehicle crossed the median, and missed oncoming traffic to stop behind the truck. Again, a man exited, staggered up, and declaired, "You can't talk to him (referring to the second man) I'm his attorney." By the end of the entire episode, there were 3 drunken lawyers in custody, and no patient care needed, but the show was priceless.
We got a call for trespassing and a fire, as night fall had just hit. A woman had noticed someone trespassing in a car on her neighbors property, waited about twenty minutes and looked out her window to see what she believed was a fire. She called it in and we arrived on scene and couldnt find a thing. We had multiple county units and state police trying to find this fire and were unsuccessful after over an hour of searching. We get a letter later in that week for the lady stating that she was sorry for reporting a false fire and that she had seen people driving back there. She said that she went back to her window after about two hours to realize the fire that she had seen wasnt really a fire at all. What she seen was actually the full harvest moon through the trees!!!! Sorry its not that great of one but we found it entertaining at the station.
We had similar things to this at my former department. It was located on the coast so during crabbing season we would get water rescue calls on crab bouys. We (un)affectionately called them 'bouy rescues.'
Also, crab boats have huge bright lights on them. Mix that with thick forrests and you get bogus forrest fire calls.
Imagine 5 medics trying to carry a 5 foot one inch, 550 pound female through a 28 inch wide doorway using a bariatric carrying tarp. She was returning home from a hospital discharge. She screamed at the top of her lungs while her son stood next to her yelling, "Mama! Mama! Mama!"
With all the screaming and trying to cram so much human flesh (five guys @ 180 pounds each + 550 pt = 1,450 pounds total) through so small a space, I turned to the guy next to me and said, "This is like delivering a baby, but we're trying to shove it back in."
Just one of the many funny calls ive had...Late one afternoon a year or so back, we responded to a MVA with possible injuries. We arrived to find a car on its top, and a few people standing around. We checked the vehicle and found no one inside. So we started asking the bystanders (non english speaking individuals of the hispanic flavor) if they were involved, and they all denied being in the vehicle. After looking around a little more we noticed a guy in the crowd who was trying to avoid law enforcement and other responders by pacing around...when he finally turned around we noticed the front of his pants were soaked from the crotch down to his leg...immediately we knew who was driving!
I have two, and actually have time right now to post it. WOW! lol
Anyway, this first one isnt as funny, more surprising at the time. So we get dispatched to an MVC, unk injuries, advised that the no one was seen around the vehicle. The area doesnt have cell service, and it branches alot so we tend to send people all over the place to find the wrecks out there. So finally someone runs accross it(20ft from the county line/out of our jurisdiction). We are there for a while, no one is around. State police arrive to take a report on it for leaving the scene of an ambulance. I am out flagging, and all of a sudden I feel someone tap me on the shoulder. I turn around quickly to find a hispanic gentleman that looks like had been through hell that night(all cut up, limping, tattered clothes, etc). Turns out the guy had been distracted trying to locate his buddys marijuana farm in the area, crashed, got out of the car, limped into the forrest, found it, smoked some, and come back to the scene. He got shiney new bracelets and the narcotics team got to go and collect the crop. They were quite the green thumbs from what I hear!
This one is funnier. So I was doing some ridealongs for a class I was taking, and got a ride with a couple buddies of mine. It was supposed to be just a three hour shift, but we got a call. Then, at the hospital, we got another call. Then, back at the hospital, we got an IFT sixty miles south to a rehab center run by the hospital. So we were in the ER and one of my buddies was doing the paperwork when the police haul in this guy around 6'5", 350, who looked like someone I wouldnt like to meet in an ally in broad daylight. Anyway, were just sitting there as the ambulance got restocked anc cleaned, when a huge comotion starts coming from the room they took that guy to. All of a sudden he comes running out, and the nurses start yelling 'someone get him! Someone tackle him!" So me and the crew run over and help take him down. He then turns to me, spits on me, and informs me that I am an alien with the intent of abducting him. To make matters worse, they had stripped him. Turns out he decided that he wanted to take some PCP, some meth, and some acid, then go for a night time swim in the Pacific Ocean. Made for an interesting story when I went to class the next day, and now in medic school!